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Search & Replace

from Thingies from 2013! by Brooke Abbey

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I am procrastinating finishing a powerpoint presentation. This kind of got away from me.


I'm wrestling with documents on my machine, as G Dm
We've upgraded to Office 2013 F Am
Or downgraded maybe? The point is that some kind of grade has occurred G Dm F Am
And it's my job to take all these lemons and make lemonade out of Word G Dm F Am

But it's hard to stay focused; I wish for escape. Bb Dm
Or for death. Or an earthquake. Or maybe a cape! Bb Dm
Yes, what if IIIIIIIIIII was bitten by! A radioactive fax machine! Dm G Dm G Dm (stop)
What would I do with my boring new powers? Bb

If I had the power of PowerPoint, I'd
Put you to sleep with my tedious slides
And send you in Lucida Console to some kind of formatting hell
Where you're bound for eternity by broken links to a tab in Excel

And if I had the power of Search and Replace
I could find every instance of your stupid face
And replace it with kittens and wouldn't that just serve you right
Mewling and scratching and trying to chew on your pharynx all night

You know, I'd not even sure who my target might be
There's no supervillain in sight, only me
And they're paying me well for this tedious Office torment
I should probably shut up because I enjoy paying my rent

And avoid making eye contact Bb Dm
With my radioactive fax machine Bb Dm


from Thingies from 2013!, track released September 19, 2013




Brooke Abbey Vancouver

Brooke Abbey (formerly Brooke Lunderville) is a banjo-playing pharmacist from Vancouver, BC.

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