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about

This was the first Melinda song! Wesley mentioned the song name in his session plan, and I begged to be allowed to make it a real song to play for the party. This also includes some dramatic sound effects for the campaign - and some giggling about the idea of springing this on the players.

lyrics

Welcome to the Dog & Bastard
Wendar's best place to get plastered
There's just one rule to understand
And that is NEVER HURT THE BAND

We'll give you all plus one to save
PLEASE JUST KEEP US FROM THE GRAVE
So, come on, take a music stand
AND KEEP THOSE VAMPIRES OFF THE BAND

And if it isn't too much trouble
Please attempt to keep the rubble
Off our brand new baby grand
AND ALSO NEVER HURT THE BAND

If you manage not to fail
We might just offer discount ale (spoken: MAYBE.)
So won't you lend a helping hand?
GOOD DRINKERS NEVER HURT THE BAND

credits

from Walking to Valspar - the increasingly angry songs of Melinda Vulluvette, released January 16, 2016

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Brooke Abbey Vancouver

Brooke Abbey (formerly Brooke Lunderville) is a banjo-playing pharmacist from Vancouver, BC.

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