Melinda began to rise in the world and went on tour, hiring the party to protect her as she travelled. Bad idea, it turns out.
lyrics
Your party seemed impressive G
When you visited my inn F C
When you didn't die in church F C
I thought "these guys are out to win!" G
I'll give them JUST ONE JOB G
For which I'm sure they're qualified F C
Let me tag along to Wendar F C
And make sure that I don't die G
Did you notice? That last part?
PRETTY SURE I SPECIFIED
I should have checked your references
Before this sorry venture
I might have noticed "Right! The gang
Who LOST all of their mentors."
LOST. LOST THEM.
You guys had JUST ONE JOB
And it wasn't even hard
Not an epic quest or mission
Just TRY NOT TO LOSE THE BARD
You seemed so tough and skillful
So resourceful and so clever
But you just let me be kidnapped
So like, WORST COMPANIONS EVER
You guys had JUST ONE JOB
Please just keep me far from perils
Next time you folks come around
I'll stay home with my Darryls
Assuming I EVER GET HOME. Did I mention you let me be KIDNAPPED.