Scud, the Disposable Assassin

from by Brooke Abbey

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About my very favourite bright yellow comic book hero. I KNOW I KNOW BEN FRANKLIN ISN'T A PRESIDENT look I was Canadian when I wrote this song.


Marvin's Manikin factory's in deep situation G G F C
A plug-headed monster thinks the workforce is a snack G G F C
Employee buy-in's low for monster reconciliation G G F C
So they've pooled their pocket change and hired me to attack D G

I'm Scud, Scud, the disposable assassin G G F C
Available conveniently in vending machines G G F C
Point me at your enemy and I will kick his ass in G G F C
Record time, thanks to my finely-honed subroutines D G
...and my guns. G

This creature looks creative - like a backhoe ate a mousetrap G G F C
Ate a wrestler, ate an outlet, ate a very angry squid G G F C
Which squirts me so I duck in to the loo to wash the ink off G G F C
And catch sight of my back in the mirror above the sink D G

It has a sign, a sign, a sign, a sign... D

It doesn't say "Kick me!"; it's a little more severe G G F C
The notice says "Attention! This unit self destructs G G F C
When target has been terminated" - If I've got this clear: G G F C
If I do my job right I'll be schmucked - well that sucks! D G

I'm Scud, Scud...

But if I don't kill my target then I don't have to explode G G F C
But a psychopathic chimera's a hard friend to keep G G F C
So I shot her arms and legs off and hauled her down the road G G F C
To an ICU-for-hire that's reputed to be cheap D G

Now a robot doesn't eat but I still need a lot of cash G G F C
Or the hospital will pull the plug and throw her in the trash G G F C
So I'm a freelance assassin now 'cause I don't want to die G G F C
If you want violent retribution, call me up, I'm your guy D G

I fight voodoo zombie presidents Em
Exterminate jail residents B
For cyborg dino-mafiosos Am
I'm a violence virtuoso! D

I'm Scud, Scud...


from Flotsam from 2007, released December 31, 2007




Brooke Abbey Vancouver

Brooke Abbey (formerly Brooke Lunderville) is a banjo-playing pharmacist from Vancouver, BC.

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