Thingies from 2013!

by Brooke Abbey

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about

Songs written in 2013! Does what it says on the label!

credits

released June 2, 2013

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Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

about

Brooke Abbey Vancouver

Brooke Abbey (formerly Brooke Lunderville) is a banjo-playing pharmacist from Vancouver, BC.

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Contact Brooke Abbey

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Track Name: La Belle du Bois Brûlant
You cut your neck open and bleed on the page Am F
And we seek to interpret the shapes that it makes Dm E
You know what, you're bleeding, Am
I think that that's all that it means F E

Could you prick your finger and let the spell take Am F Dm
Let the briar grow over your keep E Am
Let the sun set and rise ere you wake F Dm
Do you think, do you think you could sleep E Am
Am F E
Pick any card from a deck full of spades
And tell your grim fortune with eyes full of fate
The hanged man is watching
But I find I must look away

The morning arrives and your eyes are still open
You take up your gauntlets and sword and the menu
The chef has requested your heart on a platter Am F
But I am no huntsman today. Dm E
Track Name: Thumb War
G gsus4 G Bb Bbsus4 Bb F Bb F G Gsus4 G

1, 2, 3, 4 G
I declare a thumb war G
1, 2, 3, 4 Bb
I declare a thumb war Bb
1, 2, 3, 4, 5! C G

My hands are nice but just 80% G
The rest is purely hostile intent Bb
Rock, paper, scissors never solved anything F Bb F
Let's have a thumb war G

It's a thumb war! Now don't you scoff G
It's a thumb war! The gloves are coming off Bb
It's a thumb war! Oh now I'm thumbing my nose C
It's a thumb war! They've always been opposed. G

Bow... Shake hands... G

1, 2, 3, 4 G
I declare a thumb war G
1, 2, 3, 4 Bb
I declare a thumb war Bb
1, 2, 3, 4, 5! C G

You said you like Shakespeare, and that's a mistake G
That a man who has thumbs should never make Bb
Romeo and Juliet, right in Act One F Bb F
All those Capulets biting their thumbs! G

It's a thumb war! Now don't you scoff G
It's a thumb war! The gloves are coming off Bb
It's a thumb war! Oh now I'm thumbing my nose C
It's a thumb war! They've always been opposed. G

Bow... Shake hands... G

1, 2, 3, 4 G
I declare a thumb war G
1, 2, 3, 4 Bb
I declare a thumb war Bb
1, 2, 3, 4, 5! C G

G gsus4 G Bb Bbsus4 Bb F Bb F G Gsus4 G

Thumbs up!
Track Name: Business Plan
(In the recording I play this at capo 2)

You've got a brand new scheme, a whole dance and song Em
A surefire investment that can't go wrong Am D Am
Your prospectus looks too good to be true B C B
So baby I've got some questions for you B

Have you thought things through, have you done the math? Em
Is there a grizzly bear on your critical path? Am D Am
'Cause if you're selling futures in the Piltdown man B C B
I detect a flaw in your business plan. B Em

I detect a flaw C
I detect a flaw Em
I detect a flaw in your business plan. B Em

Your handshake's as firm as a motel bed
And your business suit will knock 'em dead
But has your manifesto been proofread?
I've made some notes in the margins in red

'Cause you make a first impression like Claude Monet
But if you are expecting people to pay
For a ticket from the fire to the frying pan
I detect a flaw in your business plan

I detect a flaw
I detect a flaw
I detect a flaw in your business plan

I don't mean to insult your common sense
But the Board of Directors is going to be tense if
You don't address these concerns of mine
So before you sign that dotted line…

Use a fine-toothed comb and Occam's razor
Before you're in reality's targeting lasers
If you're selling life insurance to the Gingerbread Man
Then honey, there's a flaw in your business plan
Honey there's a flaw in your business plan
Track Name: No Thank You
You build a cage and wait with pride Bm D
For praise from all the birds inside D A
And some fly tame in to your hand Bm D
And so you think that you understand D A
What wildness is. Em G

You're a man with a cage. G Bm

The wire is pretty; and wire's not cheap
And birds aren't easy things to keep
Would they rather scavenge in the yard?
And would it really be so hard
to say thank you?

To the man with the cage.

If birds refuse to sing your name
Stop shouting that you're not to blame
Inspect instead your silhouette
And guess why we're a bit upset
as birds -

To see a man with a cage.
Track Name: Search & Replace
I'm wrestling with documents on my machine, as G Dm
We've upgraded to Office 2013 F Am
Or downgraded maybe? The point is that some kind of grade has occurred G Dm F Am
And it's my job to take all these lemons and make lemonade out of Word G Dm F Am

br:
But it's hard to stay focused; I wish for escape. Bb Dm
Or for death. Or an earthquake. Or maybe a cape! Bb Dm
Yes, what if IIIIIIIIIII was bitten by! A radioactive fax machine! Dm G Dm G Dm (stop)
What would I do with my boring new powers? Bb

If I had the power of PowerPoint, I'd
Put you to sleep with my tedious slides
And send you in Lucida Console to some kind of formatting hell
Where you're bound for eternity by broken links to a tab in Excel

And if I had the power of Search and Replace
I could find every instance of your stupid face
And replace it with kittens and wouldn't that just serve you right
Mewling and scratching and trying to chew on your pharynx all night

You know, I'd not even sure who my target might be
There's no supervillain in sight, only me
And they're paying me well for this tedious Office torment
I should probably shut up because I enjoy paying my rent

And avoid making eye contact Bb Dm
With my radioactive fax machine Bb Dm
Track Name: Missed Connections
I saw you on the train downtown B G#
Whoever you are B
I guess that's all we have in common B G#
At least so far B

I thought you might have smiled at me
But you were on your phone
So maybe you were smiling at your mother
Or your girlfriend or the dialtone

-When I glance in your direction E
-I shut my mouth and get the vapors B
-My life is full of missing connections E
-And I write in to the last page of the paper B F#

If you had really said hello
I don't know if I could have stayed
I would have gotten off the train early
To keep from thinking what to say

-But it's nice to imagine as I write this
-I'm the pawn of serendipity
-And that somehow true love's kiss
-Will reply to this mailbox, toll free

-I'm too afraid of real-life rejections
-To open my mouth and to engage
-My life is full of missing connections
-And I write in to the newspaper's very last page

I saw you on the train downtown
Whoever you are
I guess that's all we have in common
The same subway car
Track Name: Roadside Attraction
I built you a shrine in black velvet Bm E Bm
In a chapel with marabou trim Bm A E
Where portraits of mystical figures Bm E Bm
Grant miracles, dance, and sing hymns Bm A E

Over here Joan of Arc will glow in the dark Bm A E
With her holiness or with her paint Bm E
Is it God's earnest blessing or dye phosphorescing Bm A E
You never can tell with a saint Bm E

The relics' true worth is debated Bm E Bm
But I take every one at its face Bm A E
"Authentic" is so overrated Bm E Bm
For the forger may too express grace Bm A E

For does it really matter if Christ's sacred platter Bm A E
Has a label marked Made In Japan? Bm E
Maybe not just salvation, but free validation Bm A E
of parking is part of God's plan Bm E

So please come and visit my altar Bm E Bm
And I'll honour the coupon I gave Bm A E
For a fifteen percent price reduction Bm E Bm
On a pebble from Elvis' grave Bm A E

Now foreign investors in cheap polyester Bm A E
Suits have arrived to size up Bm E
The earning potential of sites reverential Bm A E
With snack bars and souvenir cups Bm E

So stop by my roadside attraction Bm E Bm
Before all the truth disappears Bm A E
For I built it for you from black velvet Bm E Bm
And it's fake but it's also sincere Bm E
Track Name: Alphonse's Song
Alphonse’s Song

We have been punished Csus4 C
And alchemically rearranged Gsus4 C
I don’t think that I still believe Csus4 C
In equivalent exchange Gsus4 Am

I lost my whole body Csus4 C
You lost your leg and arm Gsus4 C
I can’t help but think that it was Csus4 C
You who took greater harm Gsus4 Am

Chorus:
Our mother is gone Csus4 C
But brother I’m still here Gsus4 C
I’m still me inside this armour Csus4 C
Brother I am still here. Gsus4 Am
Our mother is gone Csus4 C
But brother I’m still here Gsus4 C
Maybe we should count our blessings Csus4 C
Brother I am still here. Gsus4 Am
Brother I am still here. Gsus4 G C

It’s hard to remember now Csus4 C
What it felt like to taste food Gsus4 C
I can’t feel the touch of your skin Csus4 C
But brother I still feel your moods Gsus4 Am

I wish I could take your load Csus4 C
With the strength of my steel hand Gsus4 C
The burden that you carry Csus4 C
Is too heavy for one man Gsus4 Am

Chorus

Maybe the philosophers Csus4 C
Could heal us with their stone Gsus4 C
But if you could forgive yourself Csus4 C
We could leave this quest alone Gsus4 Am

I’ll do whatever you decide Csus4 C
And where you go I’ll follow Gsus4 C
But brother can you answer this: Csus4 C
Shouldn’t it be me who’s hollow Gsus4 Am
Aren’t I the one who’s hollow Gsus4 Am

Chorus
Track Name: For an Ant
If you dwell on winter's gloom Am C D Am
Agony, woe and parking tickets Am - E -
You will miss the sweet perfume Am C D Am
That attends October's thickets Am - E -

Give me no dark disclaimer! E - Am -

Many a foolish road begins in sorrow, ends in sorrow Am D Am - - - E -
Yet passes a landscape painted in joy Am D Am D
Think on this and do not borrow Am - E -
Trouble against tomorrow E - Am -

If this is bound to end in tears
If no good thing can follow from it
But is the only path to you
I would still embark upon it

Gladly I'll sign that waiver!

Many a foolish road begins in sorrow, ends in sorrow
Yet passes a landscape painted in joy
Think on this and do not borrow
Trouble against tomorrow

What benefit may be derived
Fatalistically feeling wary?
If one more day you have survived
Take my hand and let's be merry!

A grasshopper needs a fiddle!

Many a foolish road begins in sorrow, ends in sorrow
Yet passes a landscape painted in joy
Think on this and do not borrow
Trouble against tomorrow
Trouble against tomorrow
Track Name: Progress Bar
The time for broken bones to mend G Gadd9
The time until your work will end G Gadd9
The time until we meet again G C
I promise all these things will pass G D

When all the greenest fruit is ripe
And Sherlock sets aside his pipe
And when a million monkeys type
up Hamlet, and the water boils

Then you, the pot I'm staring at G Gsus4
Can set aside your traveller's hat G Gsus4
And sit with me and marvel that G C
We ever felt so far apart G D

The time for broken bones to mend
The time until your work will end
The time until we meet again
I promise all these things will pass
Track Name: Silver Lining
Silver Lining

capo 5

There's a light in the sky and it's blue or it's grey G
if it's sunny or cloudy I sure couldn't say C Csus4 C
but I still listen to the weather predictions G D
and that's because I'm a fan of science fiction D G

and having some kind of hypothesis makes me feel better - C G
though the people who get theirs from horoscopes aren't much wetter. G D G

It's going to rain, there's no need to guess
And you're going to get wet no matter how you're dressed
You can wear a hat and a full-on Goretex suit
But you'll still wind up with a swimming pool in your boots

I've given up on carrying umbrellas around
I know they'll just wind up in transit lost and found

If the clouds disappeared and the sun came out
What would we all complain about?
Our city would be struck silent without whining
So let's be grateful the sun will not be shining D G (C G)
Track Name: One Thing Right
There's a mental game C
What if I were sent G
Back twenty years Am
Knowing how things went Bb F
One imagines that C
With a few more tries G
I might get it right Am
Being oh so wise Bb F

But wistful thoughts of C
Pulling out old thorns G
Disappeared the day Am
That you were born Bb F
For there's no regret C
On which I could stew G
That's painful enough Am
to risk missing you Bb F

Every bad choice that C
Kept me up at night G
Every poor decision Am
Sorrow or slight F
Is a treasure now C
That you're here with me G
Because if they changed Am F
You might not be C G Am F
Here with me C G Am F

It's not that you're C
Some perfect font G
Of virtue and grace - Am
That's not what I want Bb F
I just want the chance C
To watch you take G
Your trembling steps and Am
Make your mistakes Bb F

To hold you tight C
To let you go G
Be worried and proud Am
To always know F
That I may not be C
a beacon of light G
But there's one thing Am F
That I did right C G Am F
That I did right C G Am F

Every bad choice that C
Kept me up at night G
Every bad decision Am
Sorrow or slight F
Is a treasure now C
That you're here with me G
Because if they changed Am F
You might not be C G Am F
Here with me C G Am F

And I may not be C
a beacon of light G
But I look at you and know one thing Am F
That I did right C G Am F
That I did right C G C